Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Signs That You Might Be Experiencing Menopause


* You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. (Hot flashes)

* The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. (Night sweats)

* Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. (Mood swings)

* You write post-it notes with your kid's names on them. (Memory loss)

* Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." and you reply, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie f**king Nelson". (Irritability)

* The phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. (Sleeplessness)

* You find Guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner. (Fatigue)

* You change your underwear after every sneeze. (Mild incontinence)

* You need Jaws Of Life to help you out of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant. (Sudden weight gain)

* You ask Jiffy Lube to put you up on a hoist. (Dryness)

* You take a sudden interest in "Wrestlemania". (Female hormone deficiency)

* You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales. (Hormone therapy)

7 comments:

  1. I do love this post, I can relate to this!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Did I write this or you????I don't remember(memory loss)
    Hugs,
    Lynn

    ReplyDelete
  3. I got confused, becaUSE THE post title says experimenting, not experiencing. True though! Hugs Nee Nee.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG This is such great stuff, it is my life. I was just readying all of the funny quotes to my husband.

    ReplyDelete
  5. if u feel hot all the time and youre mood change rapidlly that meands that u have the menopause if you have this sings that means that u have menopause .

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is my life too Denise!
    Except all my Doctors keep saying oh no your too young!
    They don't know anything!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Searching signs of menopause on web, I found this blog. I like the matter and guidance provided by this blog writer. I also do like herbal treatment for all medical problem and fo signs of menopause as well.

    ReplyDelete

I welcome comments but PLEASE - NO SPAMMING