Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Signs That You Might Be Experiencing Menopause

* You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. (Hot flashes)

* The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. (Night sweats)

* Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. (Mood swings)

* You write post-it notes with your kid's names on them. (Memory loss)

* Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." and you reply, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie f**king Nelson". (Irritability)

* The phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. (Sleeplessness)

* You find Guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner. (Fatigue)

* You change your underwear after every sneeze. (Mild incontinence)

* You need Jaws Of Life to help you out of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant. (Sudden weight gain)

* You ask Jiffy Lube to put you up on a hoist. (Dryness)

* You take a sudden interest in "Wrestlemania". (Female hormone deficiency)

* You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales. (Hormone therapy)


  1. I do love this post, I can relate to this!!!

  2. Did I write this or you????I don't remember(memory loss)

  3. I got confused, becaUSE THE post title says experimenting, not experiencing. True though! Hugs Nee Nee.

  4. OMG This is such great stuff, it is my life. I was just readying all of the funny quotes to my husband.

  5. if u feel hot all the time and youre mood change rapidlly that meands that u have the menopause if you have this sings that means that u have menopause .

  6. This is my life too Denise!
    Except all my Doctors keep saying oh no your too young!
    They don't know anything!

  7. Searching signs of menopause on web, I found this blog. I like the matter and guidance provided by this blog writer. I also do like herbal treatment for all medical problem and fo signs of menopause as well.


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