Saturday, May 02, 2009

Mrs. Hyde Returns

Maybe she never really left and was hibernating. I know she's around when I speak up for myself, as I normally take sh*t quietly but fume internally. This is not the case when Mrs. H is here, she speaks up on my behalf, and is not the least bit shy about yelling right back at the offending party. In this case, it's Tom. Yep, the husband who can be very demanding and irrational at times and who is more used to his little mousie wife, had a run in with Mrs. H yesterday afternoon. The mouse ALWAYS has his highness' dinner ready when he comes home from work at 4:30. He only eats a light breakfast of cereal and banana before he goes to work, he does not expect the mouse to get up at 6:30 AM and prepare him a King's breakfast, I'll give him that. He CAN fend for himself, he just usually doesn't as he takes for granted the mouse will take care of him since he's the 'breadwinner' in the family. He does not eat lunch when he works. Back to dinner. We were having leftover Rigatoni from the night before as I wasn't about to waste food and throw it in the garbage when there were starving children all over the world and I just spent $187 at the grocery store this week. The King was not a bit happy about that either, but I did have to buy extra ingredients for another rigatoni dinner I made and took over to my daughter's best friend's family who just lost their father to cancer. I also made a big bowl of pasta salad to take to a cookout our middle daughter had. Does he think food grows on trees?
He knew I had plans to go to Curves with our eldest daughter after she picked the kids up from school at 4:00.
Curves takes 30 minutes. When we got home, his Majesty was mowing the front lawn. From past experience I know that once he starts, he wants to just get it all done. All I had to do was heat his rigatoni up in the microwave for 5 minutes and I had a salad already prepared. While I was waiting for him to finish the mowing, I got on the computer to check my emails ( hoping I'd got a craft order, but I hadn't ) and check in with the craft forum I belong to. I wasn't on the computer more than 5 minutes when the Lord of the Manor stormed into the house and bellowed "WHERE'S MY DINNER" !!!! Not "is dinner ready yet, Hon"? "WHERE'S MY DINNER"!!!! "YOU'VE BEEN HOME FOR A HALF HOUR AND I'M HUNGRY, I DON'T SMELL ANYTHING COOKING"!!! (insert a lionly roar here).
I calmly walked into the dining room and said "you were cutting the lawn Tom and I know how you like to finish it once you get started. It'll only take a few minutes to heat up your dinner". ROARRRRR "I WORK ALL DAY AND I'M STARVING, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS HAVE MY DINNER READY WHEN I COME HOME". Aw oh......
Mrs. Hyde clawed her way out with fangs bared and told the SOB 'King' that 99% of the time his dinner WAS ready when he walked in the door, and how about all the times that it WAS ready and he was LATE and didn't bother to call to let me know to hold off dinner. And he KNEW I was going to be over at Curves when he got home and if he was so Fricking hungry he could have popped his plate in the microwave himself, you're not a moron or are you?
Hoo boy...Mrs. H knows I never call him names and she'd always wanted to so I just let her. I wasn't even scared.
Neither was she. HE might have been, hard to say. He hasn't seen me like this for months.. The worst part was our youngest daughter and her boyfriend were in the living room. It really p*ssed me off that he screamed at me in front of her boyfriend. That was really uncalled for. Mrs. Hyde at this time decided that she'd had her say and was going to nap for awhile, leaving me to deal with His Highness now. I said " it's all ready Tom, all I have to do is pop it in the microwave" and he bellows 'FORGET IT I DON'T WANT IT". "FINE" I retorted and went about my business. I cleaned up the kitchen, ran the vacuum, dusted the living room and threw some clothes into the washing machine. He disappeared into the tunnels somewhere, didn't come up for air for almost 2 hours. When he did, I'd thought he'd gotten on the computer and I heard the TV on in the LR so went in to turn it off, and lo and behold His Almighty was sitting on his throne watching TV so I walked right back out without a word. Now was a good time to wash the kitchen floor so I did. Now 3 hours had passed and the King still hadn't eaten. I was so sure he would have been so p*ssed that he would go get himself some fast food. He didn't. Now I'm not a total b*tch. And I was still mad but I walked into the LR and said "do you want to eat or not, last time I'm asking". He said (without roaring) " Well, yeah, I'm starving" I gave him his salad which he really could've gotten himself and I heated up his rigatoni which he could have done himself. What the hell is this man going to do when I'm gone for 4 days the middle of this month? I'm going to Harrisburg for a crafter's convention with the girls from a crafting forum I belong to. Oh wait.... there's a wedding we were invited to that same weekend which I'm not going to be able to go to, and he's going...he'll eat there.
He eats his dinner and even remembers his manners and says "Thank you". I start to do some hand stitching on a prim sheep pillow I was working on earlier and he brings his empty plate and salad bowl out to the kitchen. I wasn't talking. He says "What are you making"? LOL that man doesn't give a hoot what I'm normally working on. "It looks nice". Hmmmm maybe he WAS scared and making nice right now. Well, I'd show him I'm not always a MENOPAUSAL MONSTER and I remembered my manners and said "thank you". Shortly afterwards I took a glass of wine into the LR and started to watch TV with him. End Of Days with Arnold. By the time Tom was ready for bed he even gave me a kiss goodnight. Something he never does when he's p*ssed at me. Chalk one up for Mrs. Hyde.

1 comment:

  1. Loved this posting, I can so relate! I've just started my own journey and am documenting it in a blog too as I need an outlet. On a 'normal' day, I'm quite reserved, however of late my Mr Wonderful has driven me to incandescent rage just by asking a similar question...what's for dinner? He's not useless truly, just likes to be served and waited on! I do remind him I'M NOT HIS MOTHER!


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