Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Cycles - And I Don't Mean 2 Wheeled

When I was in my early 40's my monthly cycle was totally out of whack. It was very frustrating, uncomfortable, inconvenient and a general pain in the *ss. On a yearly visit for an 'exam', I mentioned to the doctor that I thought I might be going through menopause. She said 'nahhhh, you're much too young'. The following year, another exam, the same response. Things were getting much worse, my family was comparing me to Dr. Jeckyll & Mrs. Hyde. I was having episodes of extreme sweating, even in the middle of a cold winter. I just 'knew' I was going through the change.
Finally, 3 years ago I convinced my doctor, the same one who said I was much too young, to give me the test to see if I was perimenopausal or not. Surprise, surprise, I was way past perimenopausal and into menopause itself. Duh.
I was put on hormone therapy treatment but that proved to be ineffectual for me. I had been at the point where I was missing 2-3 cycles, having one, missing 4, blah blah blah. With the hormone pills, I was having a cycle every freaking week!!!! One week a month was bad enough, thank you very much. I was actually looking forward to menopause. No more cycles!!!! OMG it was going to be 'heaven'!! My only worry was that my voice would deepen and I'd grow a mustache. Don't laugh, I know several women who shave their chins daily and have a 5 'oclock shadow.
So, I quit taking the hormone pills. My body returns to 'normal'. But what's normal? Everything is turning upside down. I started getting 'night sweats' and would wake up drenched, I thought I'd peed myself. Oh great, now I'm going to be switching sanitary napkins for depends? What a trade off.
I make it to six monts without a cycle. I'm doing the happy dance. My doctor told me once you've made it one full year without a cycle, you were truly MENOPAUSAL and I was halfway there!!!!! I'm bragging to everyone who will listen ( but doesn't really give a crap) in a sing song voice, I don't have my .'s anymore, I don't have my .'s anymore!!!
Aw oh.
Should have kept my mouth shut. The very next freaking day I got it. No joke. And it lasted for 2 freaking weeks. Then I made it to 7 months....woo hoo, now that's the ticket.
Aw oh.
This went on for a few years. YEARS. I'm happy to say I am now truly MENOPAUSAL I've made it to the year mark this past June. Happy dance.
One day last week my 6 year old grandaughter and I were playing tic-tac-toe and she looks up at me and very innocently says 'Grammie, you're growing a mustache . . . it's purple'.

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